Dec 24, 2015
Cats, Christmas and Wrapping Presents
A quick, little piece for Christmas about trying to wrap presents with indoor cats...................
It's that time of year again, the time to wrap the Christmas presents. Except now with three indoor cats things are a bit more complicated. But using my superior homo sapiens brain to predict and then prevent problems, I decided I'd move the cats elsewhere while I wrapped in undisturbed peace. Silly me.........
Procrastinator that I am, I left the wrapping to the day before Christmas Eve so now I had to get it done. I keep all the wrapping paper, bows, ribbons etc in an open box in the garage. I thought I could just quietly slip out to the garage and get what I needed. What I didn't count on was that after breakfast Beauty likes to go in the garage. And cats have better hearing than humans. So quiet to a human is plenty loud to a cat. Beauty heard when I turned the door handle and as soon as I opened the door to the garage Beauty was the one who slipped through it. However, since Beauty had never shown any interest in the gift wrap box before, I assumed it would be safe to get what I needed from the box. So grabbed the paper and ribbon and brought it into the house only to realize that in the dimness of the garage, the roll of paper I thought was balls of Christmas ornaments was actually birthday paper with balloons. So I take it back out to the garage, and there, where she'd never been before, in my gift wrapping box was Beauty sitting nestled on top of the bows. She was probably happy that Momma had showed her a new place to snuggle.
I moved Beauty long enough to replace the birthday paper and select a roll of Christmas paper. I go into the bedroom with my arms filled with gifts, paper, ribbon, etc. And then I shut the door behind me. Big mistake. I'm in the bedroom. Rosie and Elf are on the other side of the door. What's Momma doing in the room? So I'm trying to wrap the presents while Rosie's scratching on the door and banging against it trying to get in the room. Rosie's capacity to keep scratching and banging is greater than my capacity to tolerate it. I exit the bedroom and my next solution is to put Rosie and Elf out on the back porch. They like going out on the back porch after breakfast. I open the door, let them both out and close the door behind them, locking them on the porch and leaving me in the house.
Safely ensconced, catless, in the bedroom, I return to my interrupted wrapping. It's not two minutes later that I hear a plaintive meowing. It's Elf. Any other day, she'd be happy on the back porch. But not this morning. By some cat intuition she seems to have figured out she's out on the porch not because she wants to be on the porch, but because I want her out of the house. That's an entirely unacceptable state of affairs. So she's pressed up against the door looking miserable and crying to get in the house.
It's at this point that I give up. My homo sapiens brain clearly cannot compete against whatever it is cats have. I open the door from the porch and open the door to the bedroom. Elf comes into the bedroom. Sniffs the rolls of paper, checks out the gifts and then leaves. Rosie, now the bedroom door is open, doesn't even bother to come into the room. To complete the trio, I check the garage to see if Beauty's ready to come back in. She is and she heads straight for the back porch ignoring what's happening in the bedroom entirely.
All the problems I had imagined, cats shredding the wrapping paper, tearing through the house with the ribbon, getting tape stuck on their fur or, at the very least, sitting on top of whatever paper I was trying to use --- none of that happened.
The only problems I had, I caused myself. Turns out the answer wasn't to lock myself away from the cats. It was to let the cats satisfy their curiosity and then they left me in peace. Perhaps in their cat way, they knew it was the time for peace on Earth. But they're still cats........even peace has to be on their terms.
A Christmas present from a previous year of "My Favorite Things -- My Favorite Holiday Recipe."
For something else light about cats check out my cat poems, "Nom on Mom -- A Silly Cat Poem" or "You!! The Song of the Domesticated Cat."
For more about cats, there's
"The Devotion of a Cat"
"In the Mind of a Sleeping Cat"
"Attachment in Cats Feline Versions of the Strange Situation Test"
"Cat Thinking -- The Day My Legs Turned Blue"
"His Person's Voice or A Cat Who Will Come When Called"
"The Tree and the Cat"
"10 Reasons Why the Best "Boyfriend" I've Ever Had Is My Cat"
Please take a moment to check-out the Archive.